Help please!?

I am going threw a NASTY seperation from my husband (who I still love and adore) he has been extremely difficult to deal with. After making no effort to contact me or my son (1 year) last week he decided he wanted to take my son for the weekend.... When I showed up to drop my baby off my ex had been drinking, I was tempted to take my baby and leave but I feared for our saftey so I left my son for the weekend. Now here is the question part... My sons hair is starting to get long and I really like it so I asked my husband NOT to cut his hair! Well lastnight when I picked up my son his hair had been cut. Should I approach my ex about this? It really hurt my feelings that he couldn't respect the one thing I had asked. Not only that but it was my sons first hair cut which I missed and I am a hair dresser and wanted to give my baby his first hair cut....Do I lay it on the a**hole?

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What!!.....You're married?!?

;~)

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yes

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First, you shouldn't have left your son there when he was drinking. You should have listened to your gut.

And it's ONLY hair. It will grow.

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you r one girl with alot of problems

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He is a very mean and selfish person and it's sad that you didn't get to see/do his first haircut, especially since you're a hairdresser, but in my opinion you should be more worried about your ex's actual behaviour towards your son. For example is he violent or does he yell at him a lot? If he is you could try to get full custody of your son. Good luck trying to sort this out!

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he was being an a$$hole nothing left to say

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I would

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What for, it won't change anything.

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Well, one .... you shouldn't have left your son with him if he had been drinking and it was obvious he had been.

And two .... who cares about the hair ... it will grow back. Just warn him next time that you wish for him to respect your wishes since you are the main caregiver. If he gives you grief ... simply tell him if this continues, you will go to the courts and and demand supervised visits

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Honey, first I would have never left my child with ANYONE who had been drinking! What if he had went for drive and ~~~~ well, you can figure that one out! If you have custody and your PH (previous husband) will not respect your decisions on haircuts, etc, talk to human resources, child welfare, or go back and see a judge and get an order that he cannot see the child if he is going to take him and make physical changes you do not approve of ~~~ you are the custodial parent and you make the choices~ ~ ~ ~~ GOOD LUCK Honey!

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I would talk to him but not when he is drinking that is a bad thing with only a worse thing to come out. If he really starts to become a problem disconnect yourself from him. (these things can really get bad one of my moms friends had to get a court order that the mom got 100% of the time with kid. except 1 night i think.) I dont see how you can take such disrespect and disregard for your opinion that is totaly wrong. To all of those who think the hair thing isn't important wait till you have your kid (first kid) you want to be apart of everything in his/her life.

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Well! i feel that he is trying to be smart. There might be a possibility that he also loves you and doing this to get your attention. You are very right in the haircut matter, he should not have done like this. I thing you need to talk, just go out, have some beer and tell him that he is hurting you, im damn sure he will respect your feelings

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Lay it on yourself first for

1) leaving your child with his father who was drunk

2) telling a drunk NOT to do something when the person he hates most asked him not too

You're lucky that is all he did. So when you think of calling someone an asshole...look in the mirror first.

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Wow that was pretty screwed up of him. I know you still love him very much, but if he's treating you that way, what's the use? Also, I'd be upset about the haircut, but VERY upset if you explained to him the situation (I want to cut his hair for the first time, his first haircut, etc.).

Approaching him...? Whatever you do, show that you're the mature one- don't start a fight and get nasty. If he starts yelling, don't yell back. Just shake your head and tell him he needs to grow up...

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I'm sorry that you found an a**hole to have a child with. For the safety of your child I would never leave him with someone who was drinking. You need to contact your attorney and have you visitations changed, your ex needs to have supervised visits until he gets his act together. Good luck to you.

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Just Bring up his drinking in court. He obviously cut the childs hair just to spite you and if he notices that it didn't really tick you off he maybe will stop doing stupid **** on purpose to try to get at you in everyway that he can. He will have hair again and again in different body parts. I understand that his first hair cut meant a lot to you but you have to realize that he is very young and there are a lot of experiences that you will get to go thru with him. Just try to get your husband out of the picture so you and your child and live a normal and happy life without assholes trying to screw up your life.

P.S. Try to stay in a good mood that helps everything.

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you fear for your safety but you left your child with the person you fear girl, girl do you know if something has happen to your child the police got involve you might have gotten charge with neglect

anyway yhe hair cut I understand but try to pass it

he was and is trying to pick a fight with you

just say to him thank you for the hair cut

that should get him thinking

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You should have never left your son since his father did not have enough respect for him and was drinking when he got there.

I understand your fear, but you should have told him sorry, you were unaware he would be drinking and if he even started to say something called 911. You should also always take someone else with you when you go there if you have a reason to be afraid.

As far as the haircut, leave it alone. I know it upset you but the more fuss you make about it he will try to use against you in court.

Don't keep your son from his father, but next time.....take a friend and a cell phone, go to the door first without your son.......if he is drinking give your friend a signal to call 911, if he is fine go get your son and give him to him.

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You need to reread your question...You wrote: when I showed up...my ex had been drinking....temped to take your BABY and leave..but feared for you boths SAFETY?.....I do not know you or your ex, so sorry....but that was a very stupid thing to do!!!!!

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is this really worth fighting about? what is to be gained by it? It is too late to do anything about it. Frankly I wouldn;t have left the child once I'd noticed that dad was drinking, and i woul rethink that in the future or discuss it with him before hand and set up some ground rules.

there are going to be A LOT of issues to deal with and compromise about, make sure you pick the battles that are really worth it. it's better for your son to have some contact with his father, but if yoiu nit pick over every thing, dad may decide to stay out of the picture and your son is the one who will ultimately suffer.

you need to try to be civil to one another and NEVER bad mouth the other parent to your child. it will make him feel like he has to choose sides and will make him want to defend his dad, the same will hold true for dad talking badly about you, your son will defend you or at the very least it will alienate dad because your son will not want to hear dad talking bad about you.

you must start thinking in terms of what is best and most fair for your son. it is not his fault that his parents can't get along and he should not have to suffer for it. be sure to look at it from that angle and always be the bigger person

good luck to you.

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I think you should be as cold as hell with your ex...don't shout or anything, just be quiet and cold, that'll really aggravate him. If you show him what he's doing is really pissing you off then he'll keep doing it, trust me.

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yes he done it out of spite to you ,and another thing you should consider you said you was afraid not to leave your child ,that you feared your safety ,why did you not go straight to social services and see what could have been done I would never leave my baby with a drinking man ,so please get with a social worker about this ,you will never forgive yourself if he had the baby and something happened .Please talk to a professional about him drinking while having the baby .you may have something here he may have to have montiored visits ,please dont let him have that baby if he is drinking ,what happens when you do this and walk away how drunk does he get while you are not there with the baby .

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Pl do not believe him any more and do not take second chance in future I can suggest

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1, you left your son with someone intoxicated,,would you do the same if a babysitter rolled up offering services and was drunk? i doubt it,,im sure you have thought of what may have happened and was probably glad when no bad reports came but this was iresponsible of you and anything could have happened.2, you need to get some control over your son and his welfare,,you are his mother and if your wishes are not respected with haircuts will they be respected with more important things?you have to see your husband as the childs father yes,but he left and as you are now the primary carer you need to get some clarity into yours and your husbands relationship,,scoring points can turn nasty so nip this in the bud,,get a sitter or family member and see if your husband will meet you to discuss access arrangements,you cannot play games to get at one another and still focus on your son,,leave your personal emotions at home and keep the conversation about your son,,how you and he want to parent him,the effects on him your two,s behavior will have,be it now or in later years,,for his sake you need to establish fairness as this will make a happy child coming out of a bad situation.

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You should not leave your baby if he is drinking... Who cares if he's mad you don't have to live with him and isn't your baby's well being and safety more important than his ego. With the hair cut I would be angry but I would also pick my battles. It is hair and it will grow and it sounds like you have bigger issues with the ex than a hair cut. Besides he prob did it just because he knew it would bother you. Don't let him get the satisfaction of pushing your buttons. Just smile - you catch more flies with honey!!!!!

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The mother always belongs with her children. Period. I think if alchohol is part of the equation, then you are in for disaster. It tends to enhance anger. It sounds like he cut your son's hair because he was angry with you. I don't know what is going on with you and your husband. But, I think you really step back and find out. Examine your relationship in detail. Write the good and the bad on paper. Talk to friends and family. Then act. If necessary, find a counselor. It might also be a tremendously good idea to TO TALK TO A DIVORCE LAWYER about your situation. A divorce lawyer can guide you on how to act because or CHILD CUSTODY issues should you decide to proceed with a divorce. The judge will look at your behavior and his when deciding who gets the child. Please go see a divorce lawyer for advice on how to conduct yourself and prepare for divorce.

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It is really hard to be too sympathetic to your "hurt feelings" about a hair cut, when you left your son with someone, Dad or not, that had been drinking. You "feared for your safety" if you took him, but didn't fear for his safety if you left him there. That's just not right.

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First of all you don't leave your son with a drunkenly bastard suppose he had hurt him. Anyways he has no respect for you not because you are divorce means that he can do as he please life does not work that way. He is sick and a piece of S#H#T he will get what is coming to him in due time. Sorry you missed your sons first hair cut but guess what is the beauty you will have many more first times in is life. I really hope you get away from this bastard.

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you said you were fearful for your safety if you did not leave your children after you knew he had been drinking. well, thats called child endangerment!!! How would you have felt if he had been in a car accident and killed your children? The only reason I can think that you would be scared of him is that he was abusive. If thats the case, you REALLY shouldn't have left your kids with him. I was in an abusive marriage for years and the minute my child was born, i realized I had to leave for the child's own good. PLEASE never do that again!!!

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First you should of never left your baby with someone who has been drinking. Second your ex cut your baby's hair to get back at you. He is being a idiot. If you think that he would do anything to you or your child then you need to let someone know. Also when you drop off the child you should have someone with you. This way there is someone there that can back up what you say. It is plain to see that all he wants is to get back at you and there is a chance that he will use the child to do that. You may love him but that is nothing to the safety and well being of your child. You deserve better and should not be anyone's walking mat and that is what it sounds like he thinks you are. Make sure that you document everything just in case things get worse.